Personal

The Start of Something New.

Just like Troy and Gabriella, it’s time for the start of something new. If I can ever find a chance to make a High School Musical reference I will. 2017 has really been the year of trying new things for me. I’ve always said each year I’m going to try and go out of my comfort zone and little by little I’ve found myself doing exactly the opposite. I’m not someone that enjoys change. Once I find something I like or do something a certain way, I milk it for all it’s worth. If I go out to eat, I’ll order the same thing every single time. If I find a make up product I like, I won’t branch out to try anything else. These might sound like things you couldn’t imagine being an issue, but to me it could totally throw my day out of balance. I remember once all the places I enjoy eating at were full and the queue was over an hours wait, so my boyfriend suggested we try somewhere new. Not only am I totally anal about having a routine, I am also an incredibly fussy eater. I’m talking so fussy that I’ve had to send plates of food back before and on more than occasion for having a single drop of Ketchup on or having a single slice of lettuce touching the chicken I ordered. “Let’s try Wagamama’s?” My boyfriend muttered. I have never felt fear like it. The only reason that I agreed to eat there was because I remembered Zoella saying she enjoyed one of their curries and my boyfriend making up a story saying that he knew Adele liked to eat there. I know I’m such a sheep, but it works. If it wasn’t for me branching out to try new things, I would never have known that Wagamama’s is one of my all time favourite places to eat. 

I’ve hated my job for a while. I’m not meant to be someone who is meant to work in retail, at least not in a supermarket that is. I haven’t had the best experiences within the job but it was the first job I had ever had and just thought everywhere would be the same. I was wrong. I told myself I would give myself a year and then leave and start a job I knew I’d want to be doing for the rest of my life, but I fell into a routine. 1 year went by, then two and before I knew it I was coming up to year 3. I’m not the first person to say it and I won’t be the last, but working in retail can be hell. Customers can be so rude, the hours can be so extensive and the pay can sometimes make you think “why do I even bother?” I remember I did a whole month of nights and 10/12 hour shifts to just get taxed £500 and not get paid for about 24 hours and crying for hours. I believe that everyone should work a retail job at least once in their life, then they would have a different respect for the people that do the job after them. I will never just dump something on the shelf if it’s not meant to be there. I wouldn’t want to make the person who stocks the shelves lives harder. If I ask for something and I’m told it’s out of stock, I will never get angry or blame the person serving me for something that is far out of their control. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some of the best memories working in retail too. I’ve met some of the best people that I will never forget, not even in my next lifetime. I’ve made memorise that I will cherish forever and still crack me up when I think about them randomly on the bus. For me, the negatives outweighed the positives. It didn’t feel healthy to wake up every morning with such anger and fear and feel as though life was passing me by and I couldn’t do anything about it. I remembered a specific day I felt like I wasn’t doing anything right. I was working fast but to managers it wasn’t fast enough. I was agreeing to work silly hours for the sake of other people but they weren’t willing to do the same for me. The final straw was a customer shouting at me for the crusty bread being too crusty. Yes that actually did happen, and it defiantly wasn’t the first time either. I remember feeling a migraine about to start and my eyes just filled with tears. I knew it was unhealthy to put yourself in situations that challenge your mental health especially when I struggle to deal with it on a day to day basis. And so the search for a new job began. 

Since I was 10 years old, I’ve always been fascinated with weddings. I’ve always wanted to be a person that is able to play a part in the making of a couples special day. I think it’s the unrealistic Disney “happily ever after” image  that I’ve always had stuck in my head even from a young age, but I knew thats what I was meant to do with my life. It started with photography but slowly turned into actually wanting to be a planner. I’ve had my wedding planned since I was 13 years old, I feel so sorry for who ever choses to marry me. Courses were looking to be prices that I just didn’t have the budget for at the time, so I never tried. I also never wanted to carry on my education after GCSE, I only went on the study A-Level for the extra two years of a free Oyster card. I applied for every job I could find. Cleaner, Cinema worker, Assistant, Barista, Receptionist. I even tried jobs that I knew I had no skills in like in IT and management for major corporations just because I knew I needed to leave my current job. I’d also like to note that I’m a very unlucky person. 2016 is a year that I would like to mentally forget forever. It was mentally and physically draining. It was full of heartache and pain and a lot of bad luck, so my hope for 2017 wasn’t very high, However someone SOMEWHERE loves me this year. I’ve managed to get a job which could potentially start the ball rolling for my dream job. Sales and Events Planner. I’ve done it.

As I finish my last few days at my job, I’ve come to realise you really don’t have to stay somewhere if it isn’t making you happy. It could be a job, a relationship or even something small like your hair style. If you don’t like it, you have the power to change that. It sounds so tacky to say but if you dream small, you will always be small. Everything used to hold me back from blogging. What if people make fun of me? What if no one reads it? What if its not helpful? I’d ask myself those questions daily so much so that i’d scare myself out of doing it, and now I’m doing it I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. The amount off positive messages I’ve had from people is overwhelming. I’ve reconnected with friends I thought I had lost forever. I’ve even been told I’ve inspired someone else to start writing and thats something I never thought I’d hear in my life. I never would have thought I’d have the strength or balls to leave my current job but now that I have I’ve never felt free-er. If you just trust yourself to take that leap, I promise you it’ll all be worth it. 

Until next time,

Megan Rose Wing

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